I've come to the realization that I do not have many friends. This may sound kind of bad, but let me attempt to explain this...
For clarification, this is NOT a sob story. If anything it's a statement or an expression to show a more personal side of Nia Langley.
The relationships that I have with many people are nearly difficult to explain. I come in contact with many people, and form some sort of new relationship with at least one person everyday. However, I think some people I come in contact with are too quick to call me 'friend'.
When it comes down to it, I'm not mad at people for assuming we have a genuine friendship. Today, the word 'friend' gets tossed around way too often (along with the word 'love', but that's another story). Society now has made the idea or concept of friendship not as big of a deal. I do get annoyed, however, when people who claim I'm their friend assume that I am supposed to fulfill some sort of duty for them (I really don't know how to explain it). I have no obligation to most people, because I do not truly know most people. I do not truly know most people, because most people I come in contact with are, in truth, acquaintances. Though there are many acquaintances I am very fond of, I cannot say they are my friends without really knowing them.
Is this making any sense?
It's not like I don't want friends. I simply want REAL ones. I think the more people you let into your life, the more complicated it gets. With that being said, I don't want to rush into many friendships, and just because we're not friends, doesn't mean I won't do anything nice for you. I just don't want people expecting things from me without knowing me. I'd rather start as acquaintances, build a bond, build trust, and form a friendship. Almost all of my acquaintances have the potential to become my friends. I'm simply not in any hurry to make that transition.
If you can't tell already, my circle of friends is rather tight right now. Not because I'm cold and distant from people, but because it's difficult for me to keep friends. It's difficult for me to keep friends, because people tend to get offended when I tell them the truth. I'm not the type to just go around lying. I'm also not the one who doesn't speak up when I think something is wrong. I say what's on my mind. I'm not loud, but I do say what I want to say (if I'm sure what it is) when I want to say it. If people are real with me, I'm going to be real with them. If people are fake with me, I'm still going to be real with them. That's just the way I am.
Along with being real with people, I think my remarks are sometimes misunderstood. I think I can be a really nice person to be around, but when someone crosses my line, it will not always be a pretty picture. If someone steps on my toes, I don't allow the foot to stay there. I kick it off of me usually.
The thing that's soooo bizarre about this is I'm really not a mean person! And (specifically recently) I've come to the realization that I like to see people happy. I enjoy meeting new people. I like to make people smile, and I think that everyone should know what it feels like to be loved.
So to wrap this all up, I think my views on friendship are a bit different than the next guy's. I know it's kind of weird, but I really want to stay grounded, and I think the best way to do that while having relationships with people is by having true friends that you really know. I also want someone who will put in the same amount of work into the friendship, so it's not just me working by myself. I am NOT anti-people! I would rather really get to know someone better as I build trust.
That's all I have to say on this. Did you follow me at all? Hopefully...haha
What are your thoughts on friendship? What do you think true friendship is?
Thanks for reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment